On The Small-ish Side of Humanity

(Me at Hatcher Pass around mile 6 on the Gold Mint Trail)

As you read this, understand that the majority of this blog was written several days ago. My crazy life has prevented me from being able to post it any sooner :) I hope your spirit man/woman is moved as much as mine has been...


Tomorrow makes a week, now, since we returned from our much needed run away to Alaska..and honestly, if I could've packed up my babies, my bestie, and my House and got them all up there to us, we would still be there...

Who cares if school starts in 1 day??

Who cares if I have music that's due and dances and performances that need choreography??

Give me a 65 degree summer ANYDAY..

We dont necessarily need to discuss the -50 degree winters, but summers....oh yeah.  Highs barely reaching 70, daylight until 11:30pm-ish...So much country to explore...yessah.

That's the life for THIS trail-blazin' mama.

So anywho, I'm sitting here, in the nastiness of the Georgia summer, at my computer (which is where I have been sitting ALLLLL day...working, calling, emailing, scheduling, working, dancing, writing, emailing some more, working...in between impromptu 'jerkin' and 'hip hop' episodes with my second oldest, lol...which btw have been quite comical, to say the least[...ahem...him. Not me.] and catering to the ever regenerating needs of my littles)

So I'm sitting here, and I'm beginning to feel a little less overwhelmed because I just successfully downed that motley crew o' mine for the night (YES!) and now...blissfully...I can think.

And I hear Him calling me, "Come away..."

Precious, right?

The sad thing?

He's been calling me all day long.

I'd LOVE to be able to say that I listen everytime my Lover beckons me. That I drop everything and run into His waiting arms....but I can't.

I can't because I don't.

I get caught up in the HAVE to's and the "MAMA!!"s and the pressures of deadlines and...well...you get the picture.

Sometimes I hear Him clearly and I give Him the soon-to-be-patented line "Just a sec, okay?" Never looking up from what I'm working on.

Sometimes I hear Him vaguely and I stop for a second to listen (like "Did I hear something??"), but then shrug and move on with my tasks.

Sometimes I don't hear Him at all.

And all the while He is calling.

He never stops speaking, you know?

Heaven is always creating a sound...we just aren't always in the position to hear it...or Him.

But I'm getting off topic abit. Another blog, another day.

ANYWHO!

A few minutes ago, I heard Him again and this time I sighed exhaustedly and took His hand. He pulled me close to His side and I leaned into Him and went with Him...and He took me back to Alaska.

Back to the place where I, for the first time in my life, came face to face with majesty.

That may sound cheezish, but I am telling you...NEVER in all my life have I EVER been so moved, humbled, and in awe of my Creator. I tried, in vain I might add, to capture it on film, but pictures...videos...NOTHING can do it justice.

I remember as we were driving up to Hatcher Pass for the first time (COMPLETELY by accidental adventure, haha!). Every single bend in the road brought fresh tears to my eyes and I felt like my heart would literally explode...it was...painful, the adoration and honor I felt for this God who spoke these GIANTS into existence.

Haha! Shane got tickled at me because I was so stinkin EMOTIONAL, lol. SHEESH! It was ridiculous...like really.

"Stop laughing at me!!" I demanded, at one point, thru my water works...sniffling and blubbering, "I already feel like a dork!"

Part of me wondered what the heck was WRONG with him, that he wasn't so moved...and then it dawned on me that I yelled at him anytime he took his eyes off the mountain roads, hahahaha! Poor guy, lol.

Then I remember our hike up Mint Glacier Trail and how every mile brought us further into wilderness and it was so untouched...even the beavers who prevented us from actually SEEING the glacier were proof of ingenuity, creativity, and a determined dilligence that gave us a good laugh on several occasions.

The gentle mountain breezes caressing my skin, bearing the sweet perfumes that man has tried, in vain, to duplicate...

That same serene wind rippling thru the, sometimes overwhelming, overgrowth from lack of human involvement, carrying the sighs and laughter of the nearby glacial river.

The 100 different songs from a plethora of different species of birds and insects.

And then...oh then...we would raise our eyes to absolute, breathtaking glory that were snow covered peaks, interrupting the brillant blue skies in a rugged and magnificent fashion....

And we were so small...

so...infinitely small...

And my heart was pierced again.

Over and over in my head, I kept hearing, "The hills melt like wax in the presence of the Lord" and "Mountains tremble at Him.." and I was overcome...

Something so huge and enormous...trembles...

It TREMBLES at Him...at just His presence...

at just...Him...

And then I trembled.

And I cried.

Because this God, who CREATED all of this...

This God...

He loves ME...

His passion is for ME...

I saw how enormous these beauties were and the realization that we are all IN Him...as in INSIDE of His person...(another blog for another day..blow your mind stuff)..

How BIG is He?

"Abba? Just how big are You?"

"I am everywhere. I surround you. There is no where you can go that My eye does not see you. You can ascend to the top of these mountains. You can descend to the depths of the earth, and still My eye would be upon you. I am as close as a caress and as far as the wind...Does that answer your question, my precious daughter?"

Lol, well...yes.

As we continued our trek thru all of this beauty, asborbing all of this, another thought hit me.
He said that if I had faith...Even as much as a mustard seed that the mountains would be removed...

The mountains...

These massive things that went on for days...

These awe inspiring structures of rock and earth would be...

REMOVED.

One can not truly understand the gravity of this statement until you are actually standing at the foot of one of these 'mountains'.

"One of these??"

He chuckled.

"I'm nowhere NEAR that bold, Abba".

"I know, but you will be."

(skeptical nose wrinkle)"Mmmm...I'm not so sure about that..."

He chuckled again, but then I felt Him grow serious.

"I feel your passion and your heart for Me. I know your desire to walk fearlessly. Doubt is the enemy of faith, my precious one."

I want to be that one that You send when 'faith' is what is lacking in a situation.

I want to be Moses parting the Red Sea in the lives of the people in my communtiy.

I want to be the Joshua shouting down the Jericho walls in the lives of those imprisioned by the enemy of our souls.

I want to be the one that is so much like my Daddy that all I have to do is walk into a situation and the mountains tremble and melt...

Oh my Abba....I believe...only help my unbelief...