Flight of The Gypsy Bird

Can I just be real with y'all for a bit?  Really?  Ok, thanks. I've wanted to talk about this for a long time, now, but I needed to make sure my heart was healed before I tackled trying to verbalize what happened to me and what it did to me....Because bleeding hearts can be dangerous weapons. I thank Papa God for the community of believers He led our family to after all had happened, for it was there that He told me that my heart was broken and that I had had my identity stripped from me and that I needed to be reminded of who I was.  Facing my pain and insecurities that came as a result of mistaken identity, false accusations, and underlying agendas was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, outside of facing sexual abuse from my childhood. Realizing and understanding fully that you have been manipulated for one's own purposes by people you love and trust is devastating...IF you aren't surrounded by those who love you for who you are (not what yo...

The baby grand. The single most desire of this little girl's grown up heart...And Jesus wants to give me one.   My love affair with the piano started when I was very young. My grandmother had a small one in her parlor and I remember closing myself into that room and playing random notes...trying my hardest to mimic the sounds that I could hear so loudly echoing in my heart. When other parents would have told their child to stop, because it was most definitely NOT lovely, haha, they allowed me to explore the endless possibilities of musical combinations and sharps, flats, naturals and accidentals that a piano keyboard holds. Unlike other a lot of other small children,  I rarely banged the keys.  It was more like...oh, I don't know...an unspoken respect that I felt for that instrument and I played it with an almost reverence. It was full of mystery for me and I remember spending hours in that room...just me and the sounds of exploration.  There was a genui...

Here's the deal.  I'm a chicken. A great big colossal chicken.  And Papa knows it.  Mainly, because He's, well, GOD... but also because I have told Him MANY times how hard of a time I've been having with teaching the series on healing that we are doing with our students this month. I've only shared that with a VERY few trusted ppl who I know will cover and pray for me.  Every second and 4th Tuesday nights I attend a ladies home group that is...well...no words can describe the levels of glory that we experience there. This past week me, a friend, one of our students, and one of our youth sponsors got there late. As we walked in, we walked right slam into the presence of the King. One of our sisters was dancing in the middle of the circle of women in Mrs. Beverly's living room,  and we didn't need to ask why. It became increasingly evident that Papa God was talking to His daughters that night.  We slipped in as quietl...

HOLY. MERCY. COW. This picture... So today (while I was packing for my trip to NC) I was listening to a song that Kristan and I will be practicing tonight with our amazing worship team. Let me just share this awesomeness with you: http://youtu.be/_2nBOGA6X2g Yeah. So, I was listening to this and working. Singing lightly with my mouth and my mind while my hands were busy sorting laundry, starting more, and deciding which outfits to take with. I've been sick for a while, so its hard to REALLY sing. Not super sick, but for a week I was just...gross...And now for another week my body has still been recovering. My lungs have taken the hardest hit. It probably would be a little better if I wasn't such a fool about incense... ANYWHO. Amidst all the "busy work" I found myself becoming engrossed in the dynamically thematic elements of this song...I mean...this song is SO stinkin theatrical and so expertly done...you just can't help but be drawn in. So! I...

So, recently someone asked me to write a 500 word essay describing what worship is and how to flesh it out. Easy, right? Yeah, I thought so too. Ehhhhnotsomuch. The topic wasn't the hard part. It was the 500 word part. I mean, worship is so much more than ANY of us can EVER hope to confine within a literary work. SO! I asked Abba to help me write this thing, mainly because if He doesn't help, it stinks. Haha. Don't judge. It's true, lol. Anywho, I had a revelation in the midst of this essay and I wanted to share it with you. So here is the 536 word essay...hey, I tried to keep it at 500... Enjoy. :) " That moment. You know what I'm talking about. That epic moment when imagination meets reality and it exceeds everything you thought it could possibly be. That moment when your soul is moved so deeply that all you can do is close your eyes and soak in that moment, relish the moment, love the moment, because to do anything else would seem....

I was replying to a facebook message from a friend about a song I sang this past Sunday. Suddenly I was preaching in my message. Sorry, Amy, haha. You caught the brunt of my spiritual tourettes (no disrespect intended to those who are overcoming this disorder). But right smack dab in the middle of a sentence I saw a water spigot.  It was barely open and trickling down. Then I saw the ground immediately around it and it was watered, but before the life giving water could reach the rest of the thirsty earth farther away, it was sucked up by the ground closest to the spigot. The brutal sun was bearing down and the dry ground was crying out for refreshing and any droplet, that just happened to find its way to a parched blade of grass was evaporated by the intensity of the suns rays. Then I saw the same spigot open full blast! Water was spraying EVERYWHERE! Making a mess. Completely drenching the ground nearest to it... Infact at times that ground appeare...

Hahahaha...I just pulled up my home page and that picture of that pissed off baby was staring at me... Ok. Sorry! Serious face on now. So I've been thinking....scary, I know. What started as 'picking' one Friday night on the way to the Prayer Room is now at the forefront of my thoughts... And has been for a while now. I've been mulling it over in my mind...turning it around...really putting some time into deciding how I feel about it and talking to Him about it some, trying to figure out how to get it out and be clear with it....thus the LONNNNNNG time since my last post. I'm going to try to do my best to get it all out in a way that makes perfect sense...which with me, is sketchy at times, lol. Here Goes! We (Shane and Kristan and I) were joking about an older worship song that deals with the heart of worship... (singing in epic early 2000's contemp worship voice) "When the music fades....and all is STRIPPED away..and I simply cooo...

Must. Have. Metalllllllllll. AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! So....Daddy has been working on me about letting people into my life...thus the blog. But I have this habit of letting ppl into what's going on in our lives, but not letting them in to MY life. SO! I'm going to let you all in on "me"....well, kinda....hey, it's a process, ok?  I'm letting you in on something I've been dealing with...may not be big to any of you out there, but to me? This is hugonic. Annnnnd here it is: I love music. I love metal. I love classical. I love jazz. I love gospel. I love reggae. I love blues. I love punk rock. I love ska. I love hardcore. I love contemporary chrisitan....get the picture? I love music...all of it. And I'm gifted in most of it....and it wouldnt take much study for me to be gifted in all. For a while, I've been craving a little more than what I'm operating in and it's been really difficult.   ...