The Victor's Crown

HOLY. MERCY. COW.

This picture...

So today (while I was packing for my trip to NC) I was listening to a song that Kristan and I will be practicing tonight with our amazing worship team. Let me just share this awesomeness with you:

http://youtu.be/_2nBOGA6X2g

Yeah.

So, I was listening to this and working. Singing lightly with my mouth and my mind while my hands were busy sorting laundry, starting more, and deciding which outfits to take with. I've been sick for a while, so its hard to REALLY sing. Not super sick, but for a week I was just...gross...And now for another week my body has still been recovering. My lungs have taken the hardest hit. It probably would be a little better if I wasn't such a fool about incense...

ANYWHO.

Amidst all the "busy work" I found myself becoming engrossed in the dynamically thematic elements of this song...I mean...this song is SO stinkin theatrical and so expertly done...you just can't help but be drawn in.

So! I decided that this type of song merited a little more than the cursory "practice" and I set my work down and proceeded to engross myself in identifying with the message AND the melody.

I started the song over and closed my eyes and lifted my face and hands heavenward.

I stepped up to the boom stand in front of the sink in the great auditorium that is my kitchen and allowed the score to wash over my spirit as I eagerly anticipated the forthcoming lyrical.

I could feel the warmth of the stage lights on my skin (the sun streaming thru the kitchen window over a sink full of dishes that needed my attention).

The crowd was waiting in excited expectation as the strings quieted.

I opened my mouth:

"You are always fighting for us.  Heaven's angels all around..."  My spirit shook. Apparently, I had company in the room.

"My delight is found in knowing, that You wear the Victor's crown.

You're my help and my defender, You're my Savior and my Friend..." Ninja tears assaulted my eyes.

"By Your grace I live and breathe to worship You..." My lungs began to hurt.

"At the mention of Your greatness, in Your name I will bow down...In Your presence fear is silenced, for You wear the Victor's crown.

Let Your glory fill this temple..." I could feel the tremble start at my feet....

Fill this temple...fill this temple...fill THIS temple...I am the temple of the Living God...Fill THIS temple!

"Let Your power overflow"...yes!!

"By Your grace I live and breathe to worship You.."  My lungs spasmed and I cough deeply.

"Halleluuuuuuuu-jah, You have overcome, You have overcome!" Yes!! Jesus! You have overcome!

Halleluuuuuuuu-jah!! Jesus, You have overcome the woooooooorrrrrrrrld!"

I twirled out of the kitchen auditorium and flitted across the nation of my dining room and into the world arena of my living room. The crowd there was MUCH larger and His presence was electric as I began the next verse:

"You are ever interceding as the lost become the found, You can never be defeated for You wear the Victor's crown..." WOO!

"Look at Me." He commanded.

I whirled around immediately and fixed my eyes on the Lion above my french doors.

Haha, like I flipped around so fast my glasses almost came flying off.

"Sing to Me." He commanded.

"You are Jesus, the Messiah. You're the hope of all the world,"

No longer was I there with nations.

I was present with the Lamb of God...The Lion of the tribe of Judah.

"By Your grace I live and breathe to worship You...!!"

My lungs siezed. I coughed and coughed and coughed and gagged and coughed, but I couldn't stop singing. I just couldn't stop breathing. I had to breathe. My worship flew on the wings of my breath and I HAD to worship so I HAD to breathe. I live and BREATHE to worship Him! There was no way, in the thickness of His glorious presence there in my living room, that I was going to crap out.

He is too worthy.

He is too wonderful.

He is too HOLY.

"Hallelu--(COUGH!)-hoo-(COUGH!)-HEEYAH!(COUGH! COUGH! Gag)"

My eyes were fixed upon the golden eyes of the Lion above me...

(and before you get all crazy religious on me, no i most certainly do NOT believe that painting is Jesus...BUT!! He DID tell me to paint it as a reminder of Who is always watching over our family and our purpose...so in essence...its a representation of Him....say what you will. Join in with those who call me a "flake". I just do not care. I'm madly in love with Him and He speaks to me...touches me...impregnates me with His glory...and...well. You get the idea)

"You have OVER-(COUGH), You have OVER-(COUGH)..."

DANG IT!! LUNGS!! YOU WILL RECEIVE OXYGEN!! BRONCHIAL TUBES YOU WILL RELAX!!

"Halleluuuuuuuuu-YAH!! (COUGH), JE-(COUGH), You have OVERCO-(COUGH) the WORLD!!!(COUGH! COUGH! Gag. COUGH!)

I was sweating from the effort by this time but I refused to let this ridiculous coughing fit prevent me from expressing my worship with everything I had in me. As long as I had breath, I was GOING to make a sound...

Dang it!

As I continued to look into the eyes of that painting, it was like the flames on the right side of it began to come to life. They began swirling and extending further out past the canvas.

and then...

He shook His glorious, firey, windswept, mane....and I gasped.

And coughed.

I saw that painting morph and a full bodied Lion of fire stepped off of the canvas and into the atmosphere of my living room.

"EVERY HIGH THING MUST COME DOWN! (COUGH, COUGH, COUGH)
EVERY STRONGHOLD SHALL BE (COUGH)BROKEN!
YOU WEAR THE VICTOR'S CROWN! (COUGH, COUGH)
YOU WILL (COUGH)-VERCOME, YOU WILL OVER-(COUGH)!"

My body started rejoicing. Like leaping and spinning wildly...

Yep.

Right there in my living room.

Slam-dancing with the Holy One of Israel in a most undignified fashion.

Throwing myself into the air, falling on my butt, picking myself up, spinning and jumping and coughing and gagging and yelling until the song finished and I collapsed, exhausted, sweating, coughing my lungs up, and thoroughly spent on my back on the floor in front of my fireplace.

And then...

He settled in...so heavy...so gentle...ohhhh...the kabod...

KABOD : The weighty importance and shining majesty which accompany God's presence. The basic meaning of the Hebrew word kabod is heavy in weight.

I tried to lift my outstretched arms...even just to roll over, but the weight was too much...

So I laid there...as the song that I had on repeat, began again.

"Thank you, Jesus....", tears began to slip from the corners of my eyes and I could do nothing to wipe them. I couldn't move ANYTHING.

"I love you, Jesus..."

"Shhhhhhhh.....Beloved One....shhhhh...."

I shushed.

"I want to show you something..." He whispered.

"okay..."

I laid there, paralyzed, eyes closed..and I began to see images...in the negative...like a film negative...You know, the reversed colors.  First it was smoke...and then the smoke swirled and formed eyes...large, intense, Lion-esk eyes that swirled and curled and then the smoke swirled again and the eyes became like eagle eyes...just as intense...

Then the smoke blew away and there was a circular swirl that reminded me of a violent ocean wave crashing...only it was in a continuous circle(kind of like the buffering circle on youtube), crashing and then growing, then crashing, then growing.

Then the smoke blew away again and it was like gentle waters washing up on the shore over and over again.

Then it was gone.

I tested my arms and the weight had lifted.

"Halleluuuu-yah...You have overcome, You have overcome..." was playing in my earbuds...

I rolled over and shakily got to my hands and knees.

"Well...I have NO idea what that all meant, Jesus," I whispered weakly, "but, I don't have to. Thank You for sharing your secrets with me..." Those sneaky ninja tears attacked my eyes again.

And then the Son of God sang to me.

"Halleluuuu-yah. You have overcome. You will overcome.
Halleluuuu-yah, Nicki, you have overcome the world.
Every high thing must come down. Every stronghold shall be broken.
You wear the Victor's crown. You have overcome, you will overcome."

Annnnnnd I was in the floor again.

Too much, Jesus....You love me too much....