Eh...The Jury Is Out on Cheat Days.

So, Many of you know that I've been on a journey to health and fitness.  It's a journey that started years ago and one that I got lazy in for many reasons that I won't go into, here.  But about 3.5 months ago, I had a pretty rude awakening.

I was heavier than I had ever been in my life, even though most people would say that they never considered me obese. I began to be short of breath, even when I wasn't exerting myself, and I started having more and more frequent mild chest pains. My ankles and legs pretty much stayed swollen and I was just exhausted all of the time.  My asthma had really started acting up again, too.  Papa God had been talking to me for about six or eight months about my health and wellness. I would listen to Him with my heart and then start full force.  I would work out so hard and eat better, but then...Cheat day....That turned into cheat days...

I rationalized that this was ok because I was working out so hard...

It wasn't ok...Because there was never any progress and I became discouraged and thought, "WHY am I KILLING myself for NOTHING?!" and I would quit...over and over again.

Then one morning, the studhubs grabbed me in the kitchen and said, "Nicki...I had a dream last night and it scared me. " The look on his face really concerned me.

"In this dream," He continued, "you were having an asthma attack and then you grabbed your chest like you were having a heart attack and you slid to the floor saying, 'I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry...' over and over again...I don't know why you were saying that or what to do with this dream, but I don't want to lose you."

I knew exactly why I was saying that...

Because God had already told me that my health was paramount in this season and that I MUST take it seriously...and I hadn't.

Later that day, Papa asked me serious question:

"Do you want to live or do you want to continue to self-medicate and rationalize laziness and why its ok to be unhealthy."

That and Shane's dream were game changers for me... and so I started...for serious.

And I haven't looked back.

I don't claim to be a nutritionist or even a dietary specialist. I can't say what's effective for you. I can only talk about what I know to be true for me, so lets not get our knickers in a twist about the newest thing in the fitness social media about cheat days actually boosting your metabolism. I can't chime in on that for you, but for ME? That is a crock of steaming Ka-Ka, for two reasons:

1. I know me.
2. My body is s a machine and when its used to a certain type of high-octane fuel, and I put low grade fuel into it...It reacts...in a not good way.

On #1:
See, the me I know and love loves cakes and pies...and chocolate when I'm hormonal.  I love icing...and puddings...and ICE CREAM. LAWD YES, I FEEL HIM! Jesus is IN the ice CREAM!

If I allow myself even a TASTE...of any of those culinary wonders...I can't say no to more. Maybe you are the Iron Man of life, but sadly? This girl is not.  Some people have the will power to have a taste and then step away. I'm not one of them...But it's really not about the actual moment. For me, it's about the days that follow.

By giving in, in that moment, I have now opened the door of desire for the days to come.  I remember how decadent the creamy icing was,  and how smooth and rich the homemade lemon custard filling was, and how warm and gooey the chocolate chip cookies were fresh out of the oven...And boom. My cheat day turns into cheat days, turns into cheat weeks, turns into complete abandonment of my goals.

Aren't we like that with our faith-walk sometimes?

We are so in love with Him and so faithfully listening and moving...Filling our spirit men with whole and healthy spiritual food and then cheat day.

I refuse to tell you what that cheat day is for you and its really none of your business what mine would be.  It could be a toxic relationship. It could be an addiction...which can be anything these days,  from porn-to alcohol-to drugs-to social media-to food-to acceptance to...Ice Cream...ahem...

Whatever your vice may be.

The point I'm trying to make is that if you know you have an issue with something, it's not safe to "cheat".  It re-opens a door that you closed for a reason.

Also...Something the studhubs and I were discussing the other night...The whole term, "Cheat Day", is a little...weird.

Here's a snippet of our convo:

Me - "So...Cheat days. What are your thoughts on that? "

Studhubs - "Ehh...In what aspect?"

Me - "For marriage and relationships."

He looked at me a little strangely. I laughed. 

Me - "So, you're not ok with me having a designated day to cheat every week...Even if you get a cheat day too?"

Again, he looked at me trying to read me. 

Studhubs - "No. That would not help ANY relationship"

Me - (laughing) "Me either, Haha!...I would murder you, for sure...SO! If it's that important to be faithful and not cheat in our marriage, why is it ok to cheat on our physical and spiritual health?"

Studhubs - "I see what you're saying. Wow. Yeah, and not to mention what it does to your body in the meantime. Jeez, that's good."

Which leads me to reason #2:

Our bodies are machines and they need fuel to run.  Now, again, I'm not saying that I am expert in anything other than how my own body runs, but I would venture to say that there are many of you out there like me.  When I'm in a losing pattern and my body has been running on a certain type of high octane, healthy fuel, if I have a "cheat day" it's like putting sugar in my gas tank.  Every thing comes to a screeching halt and I FEEL it. No matter how hard I work and how good I eat, for at least a week after my cheat day (Sometimes longer depending on the level of my cheat) I am literally stuck and there's nothing I can do about it, but work work work work work. Work that could have been beneficial toward my goals, but now all that effort is being put toward recovery and getting my machine back into optimal function mode. IT'S SO FRUSTRATING! WHY CAN'T A GIRL JUST HAVE PIE?!

It's really that important, though...Physically and spiritually.

I know this may seem a bit 'expected' but 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 really does pop out to me.

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."

As I'm sitting here writing this, our autistic 8 year old just said, "Mama...Jesus does a lot of work for us. He's always praying for us. And...and...and He did a lot of work to make us, so we should thank Him a lot and take care of us."

O_O

Seriously, kid. Are you reading my thoughts?! Lol...Can I just take a minute and say that autistic kids are pretty stinking awesome.  

So, I can't help but think about how it literally dishonors our bodies and our Creator when we intentionally put things in our bodies on a regular basis that poisons it and makes it weak.  Am I perfect? Nope. Technically, I'm not supposed to have creamer of any kind on my meal plan...Buuuuut I'm a coffee fiend and creamer is a non-negotiable...At least it's the sugar free one...AHEM! Moving on!

I also think about our spirit men. What are we ingesting everyday? What are we feeding our spirits? Does it sow seeds of life or does it sow seeds of death?  Does it sow seeds of love or hate? Does it sow seeds of hope or dispair? Fear or confidence? What we INTENTIONALLY allow into our lives affects how we live and perceive things.  Are we ingesting love and compassion, or are we allowing different social medias feed our fear and confusion?  Does the music we listen to cause us to feel anger, depression, happiness, love, fear, pain, hope, or hopelessness?

The fuel that we feed our spirits affects how long and how effectively our "machine" will run.  If we continue to put fuel in this machine that is sub-par and contaminated, it will eventually break down...And that is so heartbreaking...because it is completely avoidable.

I will end with a story.

I was eating out one day a month or so ago, and I ran into a friend who is also on her own fitness journey.  We ended up sitting together and she saw my plate full of salad and proteins and healthy fats, and I watched her look at her own plate full of carbs and sugars and gluten.  There was no judgement in my face or eyes, because I don't know her journey or her regime so I can't and won't pretend that I know what's best for her.

She smiled awkwardly and said, "It's my cheat day. I get one a week."

I smiled and said, "Haha! Lucky girl! I cant WAIT until I reach my goal and can splurge a little!"

We laughed and she relaxed and enjoyed the rest of our time together.

We recently saw each other again and she looked at me and said, "WOW! Look at YOU! How much have you lost?!"

I smiled SUPER big...Because I am SUPER proud. HA!

When I told her my progress so far, there was a sadness in her eyes that broke my heart.

When people ask me how I've done what I've done and what my regimen is, they are often surprised by my response:

Dedication, Determination, Sacrifice, and Saying "No" to what I want right now and Saying "Yes" to what I REALLY want.

This means I don't cheat...not because there isn't grace for it...But because I can't take it. I can't work endlessly with no results in my heart and in my life.  It discourages me and exhausts me and makes me want to give up. Anything that we set our hands to HAS to produce results or we become exhausted, discouraged and burned out.

So if you're feeling this in ANY area...physically, spiritually, emotionally, relationally...

Stop. Cheating. 

The pain of trying and sticking to something wont last forever, but cheating leads to discouragement and discouragement leads to quitting...and THAT lasts forever.

You can do this...physically and spiritually. You are so much stronger than you think.