Flight of The Gypsy Bird

Can I just be real with y'all for a bit?  Really?  Ok, thanks. I've wanted to talk about this for a long time, now, but I needed to make sure my heart was healed before I tackled trying to verbalize what happened to me and what it did to me....Because bleeding hearts can be dangerous weapons. I thank Papa God for the community of believers He led our family to after all had happened, for it was there that He told me that my heart was broken and that I had had my identity stripped from me and that I needed to be reminded of who I was.  Facing my pain and insecurities that came as a result of mistaken identity, false accusations, and underlying agendas was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, outside of facing sexual abuse from my childhood. Realizing and understanding fully that you have been manipulated for one's own purposes by people you love and trust is devastating...IF you aren't surrounded by those who love you for who you are (not what yo...

The baby grand. The single most desire of this little girl's grown up heart...And Jesus wants to give me one.   My love affair with the piano started when I was very young. My grandmother had a small one in her parlor and I remember closing myself into that room and playing random notes...trying my hardest to mimic the sounds that I could hear so loudly echoing in my heart. When other parents would have told their child to stop, because it was most definitely NOT lovely, haha, they allowed me to explore the endless possibilities of musical combinations and sharps, flats, naturals and accidentals that a piano keyboard holds. Unlike other a lot of other small children,  I rarely banged the keys.  It was more like...oh, I don't know...an unspoken respect that I felt for that instrument and I played it with an almost reverence. It was full of mystery for me and I remember spending hours in that room...just me and the sounds of exploration.  There was a genui...

Had a "lightbulb" moment Sunday morning. You know, the 'Holy Crap! I never even THOUGHT about THAT!' moment. Yeah. Pretty much wrecked me. SO! I thought I would share it with all my peeps...eventually. HA! Lemme JUST say, before I get started that this whole Rock Mom life I lead is ridiculous sometimes. Between being a Daughter, a wife, a mom, a vocalist, a guitarist, a keyboardist, and a songwriter, and all the practices and coordinating that goes along with that...there's not much time for a blog, so I apologize if I dont post as often as some would like....as much as I would like. I mean, I know my ramblings are IMMENSELY important to ALL of you...hahahaha. Ahem... ANYWHO! We were on the way to our 'House' and we were flipping stations TRYING to find some decent Christian music...and by decent I dont mean to imply that its indecent or that I think it is... Those of you who know me, know that I'm kind of a worship snob. If it do...

Hahahaha...I just pulled up my home page and that picture of that pissed off baby was staring at me... Ok. Sorry! Serious face on now. So I've been thinking....scary, I know. What started as 'picking' one Friday night on the way to the Prayer Room is now at the forefront of my thoughts... And has been for a while now. I've been mulling it over in my mind...turning it around...really putting some time into deciding how I feel about it and talking to Him about it some, trying to figure out how to get it out and be clear with it....thus the LONNNNNNG time since my last post. I'm going to try to do my best to get it all out in a way that makes perfect sense...which with me, is sketchy at times, lol. Here Goes! We (Shane and Kristan and I) were joking about an older worship song that deals with the heart of worship... (singing in epic early 2000's contemp worship voice) "When the music fades....and all is STRIPPED away..and I simply cooo...

 Shane and I were talking, yesterday, on the way to IHOP Macon where I lead a devotional set every Friday. There were four of us in the car, and he drops the bomb, "When you get done with that, I need to tell you something..." I looked up from the chord sheet I was transposing and said, "okay...?" His eyes were glistening with unshed tears and immediately my mind began racing with what he could possibly have to tell me that would stir up that emotion in him. I set my work to the side and gave him my full attention. Right there...in the car...infront of two of the most precious teenagers...he proceeded to weep and to tell me how God had convicted him about not pouring into me and the giftings and anointings that I have...he went on and needless to say the entire car, barring Claud(haha) was a weeping mess. He told me that God had told him that he was to invest in me and my music...and while he was speaking my mind immediately saw the face of one of my b...