Flight of The Gypsy Bird

Can I just be real with y'all for a bit?  Really?  Ok, thanks. I've wanted to talk about this for a long time, now, but I needed to make sure my heart was healed before I tackled trying to verbalize what happened to me and what it did to me....Because bleeding hearts can be dangerous weapons. I thank Papa God for the community of believers He led our family to after all had happened, for it was there that He told me that my heart was broken and that I had had my identity stripped from me and that I needed to be reminded of who I was.  Facing my pain and insecurities that came as a result of mistaken identity, false accusations, and underlying agendas was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, outside of facing sexual abuse from my childhood. Realizing and understanding fully that you have been manipulated for one's own purposes by people you love and trust is devastating...IF you aren't surrounded by those who love you for who you are (not what yo

So, Many of you know that I've been on a journey to health and fitness.  It's a journey that started years ago and one that I got lazy in for many reasons that I won't go into, here.  But about 3.5 months ago, I had a pretty rude awakening. I was heavier than I had ever been in my life, even though most people would say that they never considered me obese. I began to be short of breath, even when I wasn't exerting myself, and I started having more and more frequent mild chest pains. My ankles and legs pretty much stayed swollen and I was just exhausted all of the time.  My asthma had really started acting up again, too.  Papa God had been talking to me for about six or eight months about my health and wellness. I would listen to Him with my heart and then start full force.  I would work out so hard and eat better, but then...Cheat day....That turned into cheat days... I rationalized that this was ok because I was working out so hard... It wasn't ok..

This is Pedro. He's pretty much the best dog we've ever had. Is he a dog? Nope. Is he a cat? Nope.  But don't tell HIM that.  According to him, he is a weird combination of pig/dog/cat... A pig-at-og...pigatog...that's kinda fun to say, actually... ANYWHO! He's SUPER smart, and his intelligence tells him, often, when he needs to back down from a fight and because of this? He avoids unnecessary confrontations. I think Christians could learn a lot from him in that arena. BUT!  That is not the point of my ramblings today. But then...He's only ever had to make that decision with a fence between him and who or whatever he has come into contact with that made him nervous...UNTIL last week. See what had happen was:  On a Thursday evening,  the stud hubs was making the rounds to lock up the house for bed and saw blue lights flashing through the glass on our front door. Curiously, he opened it to find two patrol cars and a truck with a horse trailer parke

So we have this situation. Our septic is as such that if we use our garden tub, it backs up the lines.. Mhmm. Gross. Unfixable except at great expense, SO! We shower in lieu of sit baths. This works great except for shaving. I'm not the most coordinated person anyway, so this can present a pretty sketchy scenario when its time to cut down the trees on my legs...But add to that the fact that I'm BLIND... Yep. I cant wear my glasses in the shower, for obvious reasons, but I also can't wear my contacts in the shower because tap water in my eyes reacts with my lenses and dries them out. Code Language: Not fun. So, I shave...pretty much blind. I can see shapes but its really blurry...kinda like opening your eyes under water with no mask on. Kinda like this:   So, after leg day, I hopped in the shower...Correction: I stumbled into the shower. One does not 'hop' anywhere after leg day...and I began the process of shaving blind. 

Hahahaha! Ya'll. This picture was so me the other day. HAHAHAHA! Went down for a "Surrender" and just about surrendered for REAL. This is why I'm always in the FRONT when I work out with my TV or my computer...So people who work out with me only see the back of my head and not the "Oh sh$#, I can't get up!" face. HAHA! Too much real, right here. Hahaha! So, about 6 weeks ago, I started reclaiming my life and my health. I had my eating plan all mapped out and I was so motivated through the first workout.  I weighed more than I ever have in my life and my health was scary. I'm asthmatic and diabetes runs in my family and I was well on my way to heart issues.  My first workout in 2 years was an ugly one, but I completed it...Even if I did cheat a little.  It felt SO good to be active...until. About 20 minutes after I had finished the work out, my entire body began to get this tingly-numb feeling...my muscles felt like they were going to sl

Today, I'm thinking about this afternoon when I'll trapped in the car with my kids who have been cooped up in a classroom all day with no permission to speak freely.  I'm thinking about how many times I will hear "Momma!" or "Mommy?" or "Mom, Look...Mom!"  And can I be honest? My skin starts to crawl a little.  From the time I get the first child in the car at 2:30pm to the time we get home after picking up the Senior from Cross Country practice at 4:00pm, I will have been fielding non-stop "Mom!" questions for a solid hour and a half...With no break. See, I have 5 kids at home now, so when one inquisitive mind is satisfied, another thinks of something they want to know...and most times, they are so lost in their own quest for the ultimate knowledge that they demand my attention before I'm even done answering the first one....I need coffee...or wine...just thinking about it is giving this hermit-ish mama anxiety...

I can't think of a better description for the last 5 weeks of my life other than...Complete hell. Well, at first it was. Now that I'm in a rhythm, it's actually getting to the point that I am remembering why I loved working out 5 years ago...But it took a minute, lol. As I was dying the other day, I happened to look up at the screen of my computer where my workout for the day was in progress. I was sweating and grunting and almost crying from pushing through each round of torturous exercises and my eyes landed on "The Modifier".  You know that one....That one person in the group of badasses who is a little fluffier than the rest. The one who does a different exercise than the rest and lifts different weights than the rest. The one that makes it ok to be complacent with your workout program and commitment to yourself. I know, I know. They are there for those who, like me, were and are not at the fitness level to completely go all in with the exercis