Flight of The Gypsy Bird

So we have this situation. Our septic is as such that if we use our garden tub, it backs up the lines.. Mhmm. Gross. Unfixable except at great expense, SO! We shower in lieu of sit baths. This works great except for shaving. I'm not the most coordinated person anyway, so this can present a pretty sketchy scenario when its time to cut down the trees on my legs...But add to that the fact that I'm BLIND... Yep. I cant wear my glasses in the shower, for obvious reasons, but I also can't wear my contacts in the shower because tap water in my eyes reacts with my lenses and dries them out. Code Language: Not fun. So, I shave...pretty much blind. I can see shapes but its really blurry...kinda like opening your eyes under water with no mask on. Kinda like this:   So, after leg day, I hopped in the shower...Correction: I stumbled into the shower. One does not 'hop' anywhere after leg day...and I began the process of shaving blind.  ...

Hahahaha! Ya'll. This picture was so me the other day. HAHAHAHA! Went down for a "Surrender" and just about surrendered for REAL. This is why I'm always in the FRONT when I work out with my TV or my computer...So people who work out with me only see the back of my head and not the "Oh sh$#, I can't get up!" face. HAHA! Too much real, right here. Hahaha! So, about 6 weeks ago, I started reclaiming my life and my health. I had my eating plan all mapped out and I was so motivated through the first workout.  I weighed more than I ever have in my life and my health was scary. I'm asthmatic and diabetes runs in my family and I was well on my way to heart issues.  My first workout in 2 years was an ugly one, but I completed it...Even if I did cheat a little.  It felt SO good to be active...until. About 20 minutes after I had finished the work out, my entire body began to get this tingly-numb feeling...my muscles felt like they were going to sl...

Today, I'm thinking about this afternoon when I'll trapped in the car with my kids who have been cooped up in a classroom all day with no permission to speak freely.  I'm thinking about how many times I will hear "Momma!" or "Mommy?" or "Mom, Look...Mom!"  And can I be honest? My skin starts to crawl a little.  From the time I get the first child in the car at 2:30pm to the time we get home after picking up the Senior from Cross Country practice at 4:00pm, I will have been fielding non-stop "Mom!" questions for a solid hour and a half...With no break. See, I have 5 kids at home now, so when one inquisitive mind is satisfied, another thinks of something they want to know...and most times, they are so lost in their own quest for the ultimate knowledge that they demand my attention before I'm even done answering the first one....I need coffee...or wine...just thinking about it is giving this hermit-ish mama anxiety... ...

I can't think of a better description for the last 5 weeks of my life other than...Complete hell. Well, at first it was. Now that I'm in a rhythm, it's actually getting to the point that I am remembering why I loved working out 5 years ago...But it took a minute, lol. As I was dying the other day, I happened to look up at the screen of my computer where my workout for the day was in progress. I was sweating and grunting and almost crying from pushing through each round of torturous exercises and my eyes landed on "The Modifier".  You know that one....That one person in the group of badasses who is a little fluffier than the rest. The one who does a different exercise than the rest and lifts different weights than the rest. The one that makes it ok to be complacent with your workout program and commitment to yourself. I know, I know. They are there for those who, like me, were and are not at the fitness level to completely go all in with the exercis...