Flight of The Gypsy Bird

So, I had a moment the other day. A moment when I was faced with a conversation I never thought I would have. My husband told me something that led me to tell him that I was, indeed, hopelessly in love with another man. O_O The other night at IHOP Macon ( http://www.ihopmacon.org ), while I was pouring out my devotion on my Lover, God spoke to my husband. That evening on the way home, he said, "Nicki, God told me something tonight and I didn't know how to take it." I was intrigued. "What did He tell you??" "He told me that I am jealous...of...Him.." I sat silent in the car, waiting for him to go on. "He told me that I resented how intimate you are with Him because I want to be that close with you, but I feel like He's got all of you." I looked incredulously at him. "Really?? He told you that??" I couldnt wrap my mind around the gravity of what he was sharing with me. I was torn ...

So it was late Saturday night. It had been a crazy long day and I was exhausted. After getting everything that my day required finished up, and all preparations for our crazy Sundays done, I collapsed onto our bed and snuggled up with the love of my life. We talked about my day and the struggles I had had to not dwell on negative thoughts and mental predictions...when suddenly, I realized I was talking to myself, lol. The tip off? My poor hubster started snoring softly...midsentence. He was sooooo exhausted, as only a Waffle House Wife can understand, haha. (and any other wife whose husband's job is physically and mentally demanding for lonnnnng hours) As understanding as I was, to be honest, I was little disappointed. There was so much I wanted to tell him...to share with him, but I also knew how incredibly worn out he was. He would've absolutely tried his darnedest to stay away and talk to me if I would've awakened him-because he's wonderful like that-but I...

Hypothetically...or Literally... At what cost am I willing to seek His face? At what cost am I willing to be obedient? At what cost am I willing to maintain a right relationship with Him? At what cost am I willing to follow biblical principle? At what cost will I let not even a  hint of falsehood be a part of my life or speech? At what cost am I willing to decide that no matter what anyone says to me, thinks about me, or does, that I will stubbornly honor those in leadership over me? At what cost am I willing to support when I dont understand the method or the direction? At what cost am I willing to love unconditionally in the face of a hoarde of flaming arrows? At what cost am I willing to press on no matter who comes with me? At what cost am I willing to 'be' and not just 'do'? At what cost am I willing to rebuke offense and embrace grace? At what cost am I willing to curb my flesh when it raises it's ugly head? At what cost am I will...

Had a "lightbulb" moment Sunday morning. You know, the 'Holy Crap! I never even THOUGHT about THAT!' moment. Yeah. Pretty much wrecked me. SO! I thought I would share it with all my peeps...eventually. HA! Lemme JUST say, before I get started that this whole Rock Mom life I lead is ridiculous sometimes. Between being a Daughter, a wife, a mom, a vocalist, a guitarist, a keyboardist, and a songwriter, and all the practices and coordinating that goes along with that...there's not much time for a blog, so I apologize if I dont post as often as some would like....as much as I would like. I mean, I know my ramblings are IMMENSELY important to ALL of you...hahahaha. Ahem... ANYWHO! We were on the way to our 'House' and we were flipping stations TRYING to find some decent Christian music...and by decent I dont mean to imply that its indecent or that I think it is... Those of you who know me, know that I'm kind of a worship snob. If it do...